Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Happy Fall Y'all, Fall Goodies, Scarecrow Crunch

Happy Fall!

We really do not get fall in Florida. We get slightly nice weather season, let's call it pre-summer (Jan-March), super F'n hot summer(late march-October), rainy season and hurricane season (the rest of the dang year). Yea.. Why do I still live here again?

Well I decided this year we are having Fall Y'all! I am going to make one new treat from Pinterest or a random cool recipe I find a week and post it here.

Last night my Bitty and I made Scarecrow Crunch! It's way too sweet for me but she likes it!

What you will need:
-4 squares of white Almond Bark (or 8 oz of white chocolate)
-4 cups of Chex Rice cereal
-2 cups of  small pretzels (your choice on shape)
-1 cup of candy corn M &Ms and Reses Mixed
-1 cup of candy corn (we added two kinds, fall mix with pumpkins and s'mores flavor)
-1 hand full of fall colored sprinkles
-Glass mixing bowl (or any microwave safe bowl that will hold everything for mixing)
-Rubber Spatula
-Wax Paper
Melt your almond bark according to the directions on the package, typically 90 seconds adding 10 and mixing until smooth.
We first added the Chex, followed by the pretzels, then all the candies, making sure to coat each well in the almond bark. We added the sprinkles last and laid out the mixture on wax paper to dry for a good hour before we stored it in a gallon Ziploc bag. You could start eating it at the 1 hour mark, but we are saving it to share with friends.
Tonight we are making Puppy Chow. Not a new food adventure but it will go nicely with the scarecrow crunch when I share it at work. :) Now I will not give away my secrets on why my Puppy Chow so awesome that people as far as New York request that I make it and send it, just know you are missing out! hahaha :) You pay for supplies and shipping and I will make you up a batch any time. :)
I need to recap our cruise some time this week if I get the chance, so be on the look out for that!

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Now for the positive....

As I said in my previous post, this has not been the most spectacular years so far. That is not to say that there have not been bright spots in this hurricane.

One would be how much our little dinky(H), has grown. She is already 8.5 months and is toying with the idea of walking every day. She is wildly stubborn, just like her mommy!

Then we have our little bitty(C)! She has really grown up this year. Recently starting Pre-K (for 3 year olds). She is have a little trouble adjusting but I am sure she will get the hang of things. I think a lot of the issue is she is terribly spoiled by my parents and so she has a hard time with a few things, she will work past them. She also started dance classes this week and LOVES them so far. :) Ballet, tap and tumbling combined class. She looks so pretty in her dance clothes. :)

Oh, did I mention I finally graduated College? Well 2 year college anyway, I will start classes at UCF
in the spring. I took a break after the hell on wheels last few terms where I was going to school full time, working full time, mom full time and dealing with a ton of personal drama that would make a normal woman drop everything and run away with the pool man. :) Thank god I am a super woman and can handle all these things thrown at me. Hopefully I will be teaching by the time Harper starts Kindergarten. The actual graduation ceremony is not until next May which is stinky, but you bet your butt I will be walking across that stage! :)

I also got my 5 year pin from UCF recently, although I have been working there 6 years actually.. The first year didn't count because I was OPS. yuck. So that was kinda neat.

We were able to go to Alabama and take part in my brother in law, and new awesome sister in law's wedding. That was a blast and a much needed trip to help turn around things. :) I keep telling them to do it once a month but they won't! Greedies! :o)

Possibly my very first real best friend came to visit a few times this summer! It was so great to see her! I say first best friend because her and I met back in 7th grade and were best buds for the longest time and she is the friend I have had the longest, anyway it was really great seeing her! Wish she did not live on the other side of the country!

We will be heading out on a Disney cruise soon! Although it is only a 3 night cruise I am so excited. I think since the day that K and I got together I told him I wanted to go on a Disney Cruise. so for my graduation gift to my self I booked the cruise! It has been the longest 245 day count down, I am about as excited and nervous as I was counting down both of my pregnancies!

So I do have another serious blog post I want to make in a few days but I really hope that the rest of the year will be looking up and so will the posts I have for the blog. :)

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Date Night with my Bitty girl.

Here is something upbeat for a change of pace.... My posts lately have been a little bit on the down side lately, well mostly because I have been feeling really down...... But this post is going to be a little more upbeat. I have started a new thing with my oldest daughter, a "date" night with just her and I. I have always tried to do things with her alone since her baby sister came along because she does get very jealous of her, but these date nights are going to be extra special outings for just her and I. She needs the mommy and me time more than ever now with how upside down our world is.
So our first special date night-All Fired Up! a paint your own pottery place here in Orlando. She had a blast and I picked the night that they were having a movie and popcorn night and $5 off if you wore Pjs!

Sorry for the tags all over the picture but you really can not trust people anymore not to steal pictures of your children.

We both painted Piggy banks to save money for our up coming Disney cruise to celebrate my graduation from college. Bitty did most of the work painting her own piggy with a little help spreading out big lumps and getting the underside, and she asked me to add Mickey's so he has Mickey Mouse freckles. :) The back of my owl bank I put Mommy on the Purple and then my Bitty's name on the pink and my dinky's name on the green. :) Hopefully we can fill them up before our trip!

It was not the cheapest date, our projects cost $25.00 each but that does include glazing and firing of the pieces. The only thing that I could say about this place verse good old Glaze Underfire when it was still open is that, the paint brushes are in horrible shape and their paint pallets, all though cute, had me going to the paint station more than I would have liked to have been, considering I was alone with my 3 year old in a place with breakable items and paint.

I think we will defiantly go again and when Dinky gets a little older she can join us and it can be girls night. :)

Thursday, April 25, 2013

RIP Kenneth Gayle Snipes, Sr.


Kenneth Gayle Snipes, Sr.
(March 8, 1955 - April 20, 2013)                    
        Kenneth Gayle Snipes, Sr., 58, of Fort Payne passed away Saturday, April 20, 2013 at his home. He was the owner of Snipes Pest Control.      

He is survived by his sons John (Rachel) Snipes of Decatur and Kenn (Abby) Snipes of Orlando, FL, brother Rick Snipes, sister Ann(Denny) Mashburn, and grandchildren Cecilia Joan Snipes and Harper Gayle Snipes.
My heart is breaking for my husband. His father passed away last week and I can not imagine the pain that he is feeling right now. Although there relationship was a bit awkward at times, there was so much love in that father and son relationship. My husband and his brother were my father-in-law's world and he would do anything for those boys.
What do you even say to someone who has lost a parent? I remember standing with Big Ken at his own father's funeral and he stood silent for the longest time before saying that he was now an orphan, as his mother had also passed away a few years before. All I could do was give the big guy a hug, I had no words, and now with Big Ken's passing I have no words that will comfort my husband. Afraid to say the wrong thing all I can do is be here and hope he knows how much I love him and that I am here for him.
I had only known Big Ken the last 9 years or so but I always felt welcomed by him. There was a time that he was the only member of my husband's family that I got along with because I am painfully shy but some how Big Ken always brought me out of my shell and I so glad for that because I have good memories of him that I can share with my husband as we continue through life. I have stories that I can share with our little girls as they grow older and ask about him. I am sad that he was only weeks away from meeting his newest grand baby as I know those little squishy faces always made him smile, thankfully my husband was able to Skype with him a bit over the last few months so he could see the girls in action. :) I am sure that meant a lot to him.
I posted this on the memory wall for him on Facebook but I wanted to just share it here also.
Since I cannot be there in person on Thursday to share in my own memories of my father in law I wanted to share something here.

One of the things I always loved about Big Ken was that he and I could BS and pick at each other without hard feelings. He was as stubborn as the day is long but I am just as stubborn and feisty, which kept it interesting. Lol It was our silly way of getting along with each other the last nine years. Although in the beginning I am sure he did not know what to think of this strong willed girl taking his sweet baby boy’s heart..

I will never forget his kindness and that beneath that rough exterior (and wild hair) that he was just the softest teddy bear you’d ever meet. There were a handful of times that he was honest with me in ways he was not with little Kenn and it showed me that he was doing whatever he could to protect his boys from feeling hurt, being the best dad he knew how to be for them.

My heart is breaking for Kenn and John and the rest of the Snipes family. I am sad that he will not meet his littlest granddaughter or see John and Rachel marry next month, but I know he will be with us all always in spirit and we will keep him alive with our memories of him, from here on out. We have lost another great one and our lives are forever changed.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Effects of Infertility

It has been a long time since I blogged but there are some things that I have always sort of glazed over in the past that I think need to be put out in the open about our struggle to have our daughters.

Our first loss was 7 years ago this week. I think that the day that we found out that we had lost our first pregnancy, a little bit of my husband and I died that day and we had not gotten that back. I think that over the next 4 years of struggles and losses until we got to the point that our first beautiful little girl was born, we lost more and more of our selves and each other. Then we were hit really hard with an incredibly painful loss, a huge blow to ourselves and our marriage. Somehow a miracle happened 6 years to the day that we lost our first baby, we got pregnant with our second daughter without any treatment. Was she a sign that life would start to get better that we would no longer have to struggle?

Infertility is not something that we women struggle through alone our husbands are suffering too, but women tend to take on the major burden and guilt. We feel like we have completely failed the man we love, we cannot have his children and provide this extension of our loves together. Over time the stress of that shameful inferior feeling is reflected in our personality as we become so incredible focused on what has to be done to have a child. We become bitter and angry and although we do not mean to treat the people around us badly we cannot help but feel that life is just so fucking unfair and everyone should suffer with us! 

Of course sex loses its luster and becomes a well-timed, well-oiled machine that may end up in disappointment if the two lines on the pregnancy test do not show up 2 weeks later, or worse they do show up and then slowly fade (another miscarriage, another failure). An article that I read today really put this idea well. It says, “Their sex life becomes a scientific experiment, no longer an expression of love. It also becomes an act that is always going to be judged as a success or a failure, not as an intimate act. It is anything but intimate, since it must be done by a set of rules established by physicians and, like children, they must report in to get their grade. Only the stakes are so much higher” (full article).

Your daily life becomes timing sex, painful injections and high emotional stress. You become someone you do not even know and you lose sight of the things you love because your life is centered around making this baby thing happen.

That alone will kill the romance and love in a marriage, but when you add to it that likely the wife/girlfriend in the situation has taken on this great burden and guilt, you often find times that women have completely shut down and slowly shut out their partners, weaned them off of them so to speak, because they are so ashamed of themselves that they are not able to achieve this dream. Being infertile starts to define them and they lose sight of each other and all of the reasons that they fell in love with each other and wanted the family in the first place. Another article I read touches on this a bit, “As a result of taking responsibility for the emotional impact of the infertility, the woman experiences intense feelings, such as pain, anger, fear, etc., which, combined with the messages that her way of dealing with things is in some way dysfunctional or "crazy", causes her to feel an anxious depression. As feelings spill out, she feels out of control and doesn't really know how to ask for what she needs, especially from the husband she is struggling so hard to protect. She may yearn for an emotional connection/interaction at one moment and in the next withdraw emotionally from her husband when she fears she has disappointed him” (full article)

It is a dark place and sadly in many cases couples give up on each other without ever achieving the dream of having children. I think there is something to be said for a couple that has gone through this struggle together. If they have made it to the other side, with or without achieving the dream of having a baby that it should show them that they can achieve so much in their relationship. Even if after the battle that they have been fighting has left them with the darker feelings and the lack of luster and love, that those things can be found again now that the storm is passing. Infertility is rock bottom for most couples and if they hang in there they only direction they have left to go is up in their marriage.

Honestly, my husband and I struggled, we struggle still but I am hopeful for us, because we braved this incredible storm together and we have come out the other side with two beautiful little girls. We have proven that we are stronger than we ever though that we could be, and we make a great team.
In closing I just want to say thank you husband for loving me on days that I did not deserve your love. Thank you for being my rock and standing with me through this storm.  We can only go up from here, believe it.